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MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT THE HILLARYIOUS (see 3D below) NEW DT PROJECT: I'M HILLARY IN 'O8, I AM

SNAG - A NEW WACK from Lena Katz (her sister's fiancé, Greg who she says actually invented the term SNAG)

SNAG = Sensitive New Age Guy

Note: see LA Times (Nov. 22, 2007, page E19) article directly below (in case it goes away from their website)
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-tell22nov22,1,6143248.story?ctrack=1&cset=true

Guys, here's what sensitive really means

By Lena Katz, Special to The Times
November 22, 2007

Growing up in Sonoma County, I learned to recognize the SNAG early. And you know him already, though perhaps not by name. Oft confused with the hippie, SNAGs proliferate in California's (metaphorically) dung-soaked terroir.

SNAG: Sensitive New Age Guy. His defining characteristics are:

* Not afraid to cry
* Or to whine
* Does yoga
* Smokes weed (or just acts like it)
* Loves love
* Posts on Craigslist, seeking "a tender young (18-23) lotus-blossom to mentor in the art of sensual tantric massage"

And the most obvious . . .

* Will come right out and announce -- usually during your first conversation -- "Hey, I'm a sensitive guy."

It's not that I want a scruffed-out Neanderthal throwback who passes gas at the dinner table and smacks me around just for chuckles. Not at all. I want an intelligent, evolved male Homo sapiens who will be nice to me and ask how my day went. I just don't think a SNAG fits the bill. See . . .

The statement "I am sensitive" has only one subject -- and it's not you. If you are nowhere in someone's defining statement, then it follows that you are nowhere in his overall picture.

Yeah, the SNAG is sensitive. About himself. But about your sensitivities, emotional needs and self-centered tendencies? Not at all.

Though it pains me to admit this, I dated a SNAG recently. His name was John and, true to form, he told me on our first date that he was sensitive. A red flag went up, but since John didn't display the other characteristics (he preferred weightlifting to yoga and garden-variety intimate activities to anything exotic), I ignored it.

Three weeks into our relationship, I went on a business trip to the Caribbean. "Don't forget to buy me a present," he instructed. I thought this was a bit needy, but -- perhaps out of guilt -- I bought him a small painting. It wasn't cheap, and I put a lot of thought into it.

When I gave it to him, he thanked me halfheartedly, clearly unimpressed.

The red flag rose to a great height. It unfurled and began to flap in the ever-strengthening current of my discontent.

"You know," I said a couple of days later, "women love flowers. I, myself, love flowers. They're beautiful, they smell good and receiving them makes me happy."

The third time I dropped this subtle-as-a-bomb hint, John went outside and plucked a tiny, pathetic sprig bearing two droopy purple blossoms. He presented it with a flourish as I was leaving.

"Why, thank you," I gritted. I set the poor little wilting sprig on the passenger seat, where he spotted it two days later. All hell broke loose.

"I can't believe how mean you are," he told me. "You didn't even care that I picked you that flower. You should have saved it."

("Saved it from what? You had already killed it," I thought.)

"You," he declared, "are extremely insensitive."

In moments like this, I always think of my sister's fiancé, Greg. He actually invented the term SNAG. In addition, he cooks lavish meals for my entire family on the holidays; surprises my sister with flowers, cards and trinkets, just because; found an emerald- green, faux-fur-trimmed sweater that my sister loved, as he'd known she would; and fully supports her goals and needs, though he may not always understand them.

I think Greg would rather eat a box of staples than tar himself with the unmanly "sensitive" brush. But while the Johns in this world are too wrapped up in their own SNAGiness to consider anyone else, Greg has her in his thoughts and deeds, always. And that is the hallmark of a man who truly gives a damn.

DoubleTake Daffy Definitions (3D)

HILLARYIOUS: Anything funny to do with Hillary Clinton - Pro or Con (see I'm Hillary in '08, I Am)

ALGOREITHM (ALGORITHM): Al Gore, after he invented the internet, developed a new mathematical model for a yahoo/google search, and DoubleTake calls it an Al-Gore-ithm.

UNINPUNDED: an unintended pun.  Ever notice how some people (Richard) often make an unintended pun while talking about something? DoubleTake has decided that their word for this is UNINPUNDED.

SLUT: Another DoubleTake Wackronym™ acronym

SLUT = South Lake Union Trolley (see article below)

Seattle Residents Awaiting Arrival of SLUT Trolleys

A new trolley line in Seattle has residents buzzing about its supposedly salacious name.

Officially, the new line along the downtown waterfront is the South Lake Union Streetcar, but that's only after its first name, the South Lake Union Trolley, or SLUT, was changed, locals told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

Vulcan, the developer of the former Cascade neighborhood, said that the SLUT acronym is just an urban legend, but it seems here to stay, the paper reports.

"We're welcoming the SLUT into the neighborhood," Jerry Johnson, 29, a part-time barista at Kapow! Coffee house told the Post-Intelligencer. The local haunt already has sold out its first run of "Ride the SLUT" T-shirts.

Gregg Hirakawa, a spokesman for the Seattle Department of Transportation, told the paper the term "streetcar" was selected because it sounded more modern than "trolley."

The first cars were to be unveiled Tuesday and the line should be up and running in December, the paper said.

TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT - Leno Wackronyms

DA - Dumb Ass -  Jay Leno referring to District Attorney in NC rape case that was disbarred - 6 /19/07
 
GOP - Gray Old and Pale  -  Jay Leno after a Republican Debate May 3, 2007

SMOKIN Wackronyms

From the movie: Thanks for Not Smoking
 
MOD squad - Merchants Of Death
SAFETY - Society for Advancement of Firearms and Effective Training for Youth
RAVS - Russians, Arabs, Villains - movie bad guys... smoking

TGS - 30 ROCKS Wackronym

"TGS - totally godless suckers -or satanists oooo- that's even better' - Tina Fey
30 Rock - "hard ball" episode 2007

PYSCHE OUT - WIPE OUT

TBW... TALL BLOND WOMAN - PSYCHE,2OO7 "And Down the Stretch comes Murder"
"I abbreviated it Gus, all the kids are doing it these days."
YD - Your Daddy
Drop off at the NEAT Labs...  they're all Neat to me..
Near Earth Astoroid Tracking -not sure of which episode

MR. MONK AND THE WACKRONYM

XYZ "eXamine Your Zipper"   Natalie to cop

Mr. Monk and the Naked Man 2007

GG Greater Good, Monk

Mr. Monk and the Garbage Strike, 2006

IS GODZILLA JAPANESE?

FEMA Wackronym - Mike Huckabee - Presidential Candidate

FEMA
Forget Expecting Meaningful Answers

THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M SICKING TO IT

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.  There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.  Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.  Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.  Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everyone wouldn't do it.  It ended up that Everyone blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.        Anonymous

PC Wackronym or PHILADELPHIA CHEESCAKE

PC - Perfect Clown -Commercial - Danny Devito... Sunny in Philadelphia
 

C-MAIL - NCIS Wackronym

C mail - from NCIS - "Cover Story" 2007
abbie -cmail for prints
donozo - cmail?
abbie - yeah its like cuckoo mail ....no no, I just made it up

MITTIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES

If Mitt (romney) gets involved in a scandal, would it be Mittigate...Or Mittigating circumstances...

RUDE AWAKENINGS

If Rudy was elected would it be a "rudy awakening"?

CLINTON "LIE" BRARY

WHAT'S THE BUZZ(word), TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING (Jesus Christ Superstar)

1.      blamestorming: A group process where participants analyze a failed project and look for scapegoats other than themselves.

2.      Death by Tweakage: When a product or project fails due to unnecessary tinkering or too many last-minute revisions.

3.      BMWs: Bitchers, Moaners and Whiners.

4.      clockroaches: Employees who spend most of their day watching the clock -- instead of doing their jobs

5.      plutoed: To be unceremoniously dumped or relegated to a lower position without an adequate reason or explanation.

6.      prairie dogging: A modern office phenomenon. Occurs when workers simultaneously pop their heads up out of their cubicles to see what's going on.

7.      carbon-based error: Error caused by a human, not a computer (which we assume would be a silicon-based error).

8.      menoporsche: Male menopause. Symptoms include a sudden lack of energy, crankiness and the overpowering urge to buy a Porsche.

9.      adminisphere: The upper levels of management where big, impractical, and counterproductive decisions are made.

10.  deja poo: The feeling that you've stepped in this bull before.

11.  bobbleheading: The mass nod of agreement by participants in a meeting to comments made by the boss even though most have no idea what he/she just said.

12.  ringtone rage: The violent response by cube mates after hearing your annoying cell phone ringtone for the 15th time.

13.  muffin top: The unsightly roll of flesh that spills over the waist of a pair of too-tight.

GOT GAME?

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the womman and says,"Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

GROAN UP A MUSICIAN

I told my daddy when I grew up I wanted to be a musician.
He told me, "Son, you can't have both."

MIB Wacked

MIB - Morons In Black
The Steve Harvey Show (1999) "A Star is Born"

PAIRANOIA

What happens when twins think everybody is out to get them - pairanoia

"I've been to war [sic]. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war." -- Bush

SAVING GRACE WACKRONM

ACP2 Aunt Cathy Prediction Percentage...
Saving Grace - "Would You want me to tell you"  2007

PDA - Wackronym

PDA - Public Demonstrations of Affections

Dress Grey - 1986 movie -with Alec Baldwin

THE CLOSER - Wackronym

The Closer 2007 - Episode title: "Til Death Do Us Part"

FLARPL - Family Law Attorneys Real Property Lien

"Sounds like something you'd get at a Dairy Queen ... in India"

ORACLE Wackronym

O.R.A.C.L.E. … (Owners Rich And Cost Leaves Everyone) else broke

RICH Wackronym

For Energetic Orgasms
For Emergency Only
The Riches, Operation Education, 2007 - after having sex, but talking about credit card

DEAR JIG and JAG Wackronym

JAG- Judgemental Aggravating Grandmother...
 
"Let's Get Jaggy with it."  Yes Dear, 2003

TGIF HUGE Wackronym

"With Howard, it's TGIF... thank goodness it's food
Howard Huge, CARTOON - Parade Magazine

SHIELD ME FROM THE LIGHT Wackronym

RAGA - Righteous Angel Gorgeous Ass - The Shield

BLACK LIKE ME Wackronym

DWB "driving while black" - Martin lawrence -National Security - movie

LAYING THE LAW AND ORDER DOWN Wackronyms

MDR - Mom and Dad Ready -    Law and order
 
KG - Known Gambler  - Law and order

X-FILES Wackronym

FBI - Federal Bureau of Imagination - X files Judge

Government True-isms:


Suppose you were an idiot.
And suppose you were a member of Congress....
But then I repeat myself.
             -Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
    -Winston Churchill
                  
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
    -.George Bernard Shaw
               
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man ....which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
    -G Gordon Liddy

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
    -James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
    -Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University
                  
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
    -P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
   
Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
    -Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)
          
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it
stops moving, subsidize it.
    -Ronald Reagan (1986)
               
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
                 -Will Rogers
                 
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
    -P.J. O'Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
    -Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
               -Pericles (430 B.C.)
             
No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
    -Mark Twain (1866) 

Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
    -Unknown

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
    -Ronald Reagan
            
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
    -Winston Churchill

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
    -Mark Twain

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress.
    -Mark Twain
    
What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
    -Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)
                  
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
    -Thomas Jefferson


BFP (NTG -Not That Good - but I wrote it down, so thought I'd throw it down here where nobody would probably see it anyway.
best friend Priority
"Sometimes They come back ... again" movie
 
"other guy can't argue, has to do it automatically..." looking at guy's sister

 

S P O N S O R E D  L I N K S