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POLITICS
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CAPITAL CRIMES AND MIS DUH WEINERS

Donkey

right clickThe Monster Bash          
A DoubleTake-off of THE MONSTER MASH
by Bobby Picket


dracula Rudy Guliana

  NEW
  Hillaryious

 I'm Hillary in '08, I Am

 

 

 to watch

   I'M
   HILLARY
   IN '08, I AM


NOTE: Many of these were from anonymous emails, SO DT DON'T KNOW source, let DT know if you know. CONTACT DT

CLICK TO GO DIRECTLY TO THE JOKES BY TOPIC

CLINTON AND HIS BOSOM BUDDIES WACKRONYM™ ACRONYMS
HOMELAND SECURITY
KOMER OR GERRY
LAUREL AND HARDY or KERRY AND KENNEDY
LINCOLN, KENNEDY, AND MONROE
CLINTON'S KNOCK AROUND THE CLOCK
CLINTON'S 11th COMMANDMENT
ALL THAT GORE
POLITICAL OPERATING - NO GUTS, NO GLORY

CLINTON AND HIS BOSOM BUDDIES WACKRONYM™ ACRONYMS   

See other DT Wackronym™ Acronyms

Billy and Hillary ous Clinton:

C
razed Low-class Idiot Now Taking Over Nation

Crazy Liberal Intent on Needlessly Trashing Our Nation

Clearly Loose Internal Navigation Techniques Occupy Never-Neverland

Compulsive Liar Is Nation's Top Official Now

Complete Loser Is Now Terrorizing Our Nation

Highly Inexperienced Left-liberal Academic Righteous Yuppies

Gore ee Details:

Greatly Oriented to Radical Ecology

Great One Regulating Everything


HOMELAND SECURITY

To: Dept. of Homeland Security

Dear Sirs:

I am writing to you for further instructions to what the next step is for me to take in protecting my family from possible attacks by terrorists.
Duck taped
I have my duck taped...now what?

KOMER OR GERRY

Cursor over the pictures to see Gomer or Kerry

Gomer PyleJohn Kerry

LAUREL AND HARDY OR KERRY AND KENNEDY?

Laurel and Hardy OR Kerry and Kennedy?

THE CREEPY LINCOLN KENNEDY CONNECTION CONSPIRACY

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker":

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in  Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy, huh?

Marilyn Monroe sings Happy Birthdayor CLICK HER TO LISTEN TO HER SING

Abraham Lincoln

 

 

 

 

John F. Kennedy

 

 

 

Marilyn Monroe

CLINTON'S KNOCK AROUND THE CLOCK
Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were dozens of clocks on the wall. Each clock displayed a different time of day.
When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, "We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell a lie the hands move. The clock ticks off one second each time a lie is told".

Special attention was given to two clocks. The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved, indicating that she never told a lie. The clock for Abraham Lincoln has only moved twice. He only told two lies in his life.

Hillary asked, "Where is Bills' clock?"

St. Peter replied, "Jesus has it in His office...He's using it as a ceiling fan."

CLINTON'S 11th COMMANDMENT

Last week a very important meeting took place among God, the Pope, & Moses. They were troubled because the President of the United States was behaving in an inappropriate manner. They decided that the only course of action left was to create an 11th Commandment to get their message across.

Now the problem remained exactly how to word this new commandment so that it matched the other commandments in style & holy inspiration. After great meditation & discussion, they concluded:

"Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."

 

ALL THAT GORE UFO
On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with 5 aliens crashed on a sheep and cattle ranch outside of Roswell, an incident they say was covered up by the government.

On March 31, 1948, 9 months to that day, Al Gore was born.

That clears up a lot of questions.


POLITICAL OPERATING - NO GUTS, NO GLORY
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians!  Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in:  "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed:  "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

 

 


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