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DT ALPHA BETS

HOW MUCH DOES AN ALPHA BET?

JOKES R US


How much does a Bob sled? Bob Newhart in Elf

Duh of DUHBULL TAKE likes these, Bull doesn't

The idea for DT ALPHA BETS™ jokes came from one of the world's oldest jokes which we used to call EARNIES (hence pictures at the top of this page):

"What's a Greek Urn?"
Answer: "About 5,000 Drachmas a week!"

This gag pre-dates Groucho Marx, and is believed to have been invented circa 600 B.C. DT uses this noun-verbal exchange as a basis for what we call DT ALPHA BETS™ jokes.... so...

How much does alpha bet?

Although just starting the DT ALPHA BETS™ jokes. list, we did use a few in the Goldbuster Guidebook.

How much does a coffee break?coffee break

How much does a ping pong?Ping Pong

How much does a lady bug? (My lady hates bugs.) Lady Bug

How much does a polka dot?

How much does a tooth paste?Toothpaste
How much does a piggy bank? (Depends if he's in a rut.) Piggy Bank
How much does a piano bench?  (Depends on the weight lifter.) Piano

How much does a foot ball?  For all you preverts...Football

How much does a cowboy boot?  Cowboy boots

How much does a lip stick? Or a dip stick? Lipstick

How much does a Q tip?( DT wouldn't hear of it.) Q-tip

How much does a Chevy chase?  Chevy

How much does A Niagra fall? FYI: The name "Niagara" is said to originate from an Iroquois word "Onguiaahra" meaning "The Strait." The region's original inhabitants were the Ongiara, an Iroquois tribe named the Neutrals by French settlers, who found them helpful in mediating disputes with other tribes.

How much does a milky weigh? (An astronomical amount!  Chocolate is a universal truth.)

How much does a peppermint twist? (Depends if it's lounging with Joey Dee and the Starliters.)

How much does a sub weigh? (They really oughta use this for a ad campaign.)

How much does an up date? (Does not compute, Will Robinson.)

How much does a shake spear?   (Depends on the SOMEONE SHOULD SEND A FUNNY ANSWER: CONTACT DT

How much does a brussel sprout?  Pre-Nazi youth movement?

How much does a boy/girl scout?

How much does a hair cut? (depends on the kind of day the hair is having)

How much does an angel fish?

How much does a house arrest?  (Depends on how the case develops.) House arrest joke
NOTE: Found this cartoon on some British or Australian newspaper, but haven't been able to "refind" it yet.

How much does a sidewalk sale? (Depends on the wind.)

How much does a knight deposit? (How much does a knight urn?)

How much does a neighborhood watch?

How much does a barber shop?  You will have to take a "poll" to find out.

How much does a pawn shop? (More if living near the Chessapeake Bay... can't remember why this was fnny, but I will.)

How much does a royalty check (see Sir Paul, Sir Elton, Sir 007.)  Rook to ...

How much does a microsoft work? GRATE.  (see Tech NO logical Spins )

How much does a Plymouth rock? (Depends on who's in there with you.)

How much does a hay ride?

How much does a Ringo star? Beatles

How much does a C hunt? Depends on how many Bridges it has to cross. 

How much does a door weigh?  Enter laughing.door

How much does an onon ring?

How much does an egg roll?

How much does "a bun dance"?  Depends on how much it's got.

How much does an ad dress? Depends on what it's trying to sell.

How much does ad minister? Depends on what it's preaching or if it's a religious ad.

How much does an ad mire? Depends what it gets bogged down in.

How much does an ad venture?

How much does ad vice? Depends on it's x-rating.

How much does air condition?

How much does air lift?

How much does air strip?

How much does Arti choke? Laff in?

How much does atom bomb?

How much does an authority figure? Not too much in light of recent develpments.

How much does an auto graph? Depends if he uses PowerPoint.

How much does bari tone? At the music gym?

How much does a back fire?

How much does a back slide?

How much does a bag pipe?

How much does a bamboo shoot? Depends on whether it knows karate.

How much does a band age?  Ask DoubleTake, they even have "age" in their last name.

How much does a bank note?

How much does a sub divide?

How much does bar gain?

How much does barn dance?

How much does base ball?

How much does a bed bug?

How much does a bed rock? Enough to start a fire with a Flintstone?

How much does a bed spread?

How much does a bee line?

How much does a bible belt? Depends if it's a dry county.

How much does a bird brain?

How much does a birth mark? Depends on what you name your son.

How much does a Polly graph...  Depends on if a parrot can do PowerPoint..(.picture of a parrot pointing to a graph for a presentation)

Is a Hippo critical?  Only if he gets up on the wrong side of the riverBED.  yuk yuk

From Dawn, Chloe (age 10), and Clementine (age 5) Hage - the NorthWestern Hage’s

STATELY ALPHA BETS™ JOKES :  Think about all of the states and cities….

 

How far does Tenne See?  (Dawn)

 

How much does a Missisi PEE?  (Chloe)

 

How heavy is a Washing ton? (Dave)

 

How much does an Ida hoe (Chloe)

 

How much does an Arkan  Saw?

 

How far does a bing go?  (Chloe)

 

How much does a hum bug? (Chloe)

 

How much does a cook  book?  (Clementine and Chloe)

 

How much does a plastic (or paper) bag?  (Chloe)

 

How much does an ear ring? (Chloe)

 

How much does a key lock (Clementine)

 

How much does a lumber jack (Chloe)

 

How much does a light bulb (Clementine)

 

How much does dread lock? (Chloe)

 

How much does a suit case (Chloe)

 

How much does a hair do? (Chloe)

 

How much does a shoe lace (Clementine)

 

How much does an alarm clock? (Chloe)

 

How much does a tree trunk (Chloe)

 

How much does a CD case? (Clementine)

 

How much does a dog bark?  (Clementine)

 

How much does a bed spread (Chloe)

 

How much does an under wear (Dawn)

 

How much does a tip toe (Chloe)

 

How much does a lolli pop (Clementine)

 

How much does a rock star (Chloe)

 

How much does a pant leg?  (Clementine)

 

How much does a tube sock? (Chloe)

 

How much does a cough drop (Clementine)

 

How much does a head board?  (Chloe)

 

How much does a Pay Check (Clementine)

 

How much/louc does a cow bell?

 

How much does a Fire Place?  (Chloe – age 10)

 

How much does a Fire Fly (Clementine – age 5)  Or butter fly

 

How much does a sweat shirt or sweat pant (Dawn)

 

How much does a Question Mark (Chloe)

 

How much does an Exclamation Point?  (Dawn)  or …Where does an Exclamation Point?

 

How much a milk shake (Clementine)

 

How much does a pillow case (Chloe)

 

How much does a shoe box (Chloe)

 

How much does a cell  phone? (Chloe)

 

How much is a door knock?  (Clementine)

 

How much is a milk dud?  (Chloe)

 

How much does a pin ball (Chloe)

 

How much does a basket ball?

 

How much does a soccer ball ?  (Chloe)

 

How much does a hair cut?

 

How much does a shoe polish (Chloe)

 

How much does a toe nail (Dawn)

 

How much does a finger nail (Chloe)

 

How much does a water bottle? (Chloe)

 

How much does a ship wreck (Dawn)

 

How much does a key board? (Chloe)

 

How much is a key bored? (Clementine)

 

How much does a peg leg (Chloe)

 

How much is a pony tail?  (Chloe)

 

How much does a head ache (with these jokes)  - Dawn

 

How much does a house coat? (Chloe)

 

How heavy is a skele ton?  (Clementine)

 

How loud does a tick tock? (Chloe)

 

 

S P O N S O R E D  L I N K S